


i miss my wife

by ManticoreDreams



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Other, please sylvia come back home, some tags ommited bc i dont wanna spoiil a character uwu
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:22:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManticoreDreams/pseuds/ManticoreDreams
Summary: do NOT contact me with unrelated offers
Comments: 35
Kudos: 16





	1. yeag

Wap WAP we’re the WAP we stalk at night we pray at night WE’RE THE wap.

krok’s the giant rat whomst makes all of da rulez

let’ssee what kind of life endangring troubelwe can get ourselfs

intwo spinistar was clink clank clink clunk clang stomp boot down da hall but FUCK shit damn slag and hell fuck there izz WATER on the floor and it’s wet and icky6 and icky and wet makes crankecase upset FUCK. spinsister GRABS the mop and he _GRABS_ the bucket and he _**GRABS**_ the floor then he STARES LONGLINGLY aat his reflection in the water, a tear runs down his face, where is he, how did he get here, DESMOND THE MOON BEAR. FUCK HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CLEANING THE FLORR.

mop on the floor goes round and round, round and round, round and round, mop on the floor goes ekman spiral, and now there’s no more waterrrr. why there was water in the first place??? spinister didn’t know, _spinister don’t care_. he walks up to kroks room and kicks the door open.

WHAT _AND_ FUCK IS THIS???’ krok says in suprise and outragous ‘FUCK AND SHIT HELL THAT WAS MY ONLY DOOR LEFT SPINACHSTER’ he say ‘HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO _PLAY PAPER MA **RIO IN PRIVATE FUCK’**_ he throw the n64 controller he was holding the whole time on the floor and fucking cried like a weenie man tears of whatever mechfluids robots has. crying like alittle BABY MAN haha.

then spinister left because that was just weird what the hell like okay man geez.


	2. no

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> megamind is real

misfire was eating a coke and sitting and watching and sitting to watch the FUCK WHAT WAS I TYPING HERE

ANYWAY HE WATCH THE GAME THE FUCKING GAME and not the saw one that would be hella awkwaarddd lolzzz lolzz roflcopterzzzzz and they were running and running and running and sudden EIGHT FOOT VERTICAL LEAP till the cube ate the pastor this is how sports works i checked

misfire groans in agony bc he's choking on the coke he's not supposed to be drinking but is but also that means his car lost at nascar FUCK WAIT NASCAR WOULD BE _THOSE WOULD BE PEOPLE TOO oh god im hhhhnghnghg HAVING A THOUGHT IN MY BRAIN HGHGNGHNG cross ccounnntttryyyyyyyy_

okay it has come to my attention that the WAP i s stranded in tarzans forest and they have _5 seconds_ until it **_fucking_** explodes they need to 

((COOLTEXT.COMTHANK))

and _**YES**_ they are ALOS on FIRE

they are the fucking runnnning yaaassss kingggssss fuckkk itt upppppp AUAAUGUGUHHHHH

they do their gay fucking runs that piss crankcase off before spinister goest THWAPPPPPPP hitting the sizable tree bc ew fuck this IS tarzans GROSS organic forests he then fucking cries i guess

OH SHIT SUDDFDENLY ITS ????? CYCLONUS MY KING CYCLONUS???? OH M _Y GOD G **AY PEOPLE?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> simps


	3. maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> when ghost face face camps you

_FUCKIN_ WANDERING OAROUND IN THIS **_FUCKING_ **SLGSKLJHGSLKGHSLKGJN SL ** _FOREST_**

"when can we get out of tarzan's forest i am so tired and i miss my wife." said krok, cryingly

everyone stopped and where stunned speeched speechless at his words

"the fuck ing _fck is_ ur wife??? wife??? **wh** at's ??? _**WHOOS**_????" garblled fulcrum, on fire from the explosion still bc he forgot fire existed on his body frame metal. Krok raised a servo hand to amswer him when KABLAM BOOM KACHOWCyclonus was BaCK and he swung his sord around like cool and shit and menacingly .

"Where in hell fuckin g HELLFIRE is my husbandandsandsands sand sands mr sandman, bring me a sand, make it the sand sand you ever snad......" he phantom of the opera'd with gusto anf pizazz. before spinister could get out his costume to be christine daae however there was a high pitched scream from yonder hills of not fire but a river and some birds n shit. they all scrawmbles to the source except cyuclonus because he flew with grace and agility and frailty and old age.

"THOTS ALL OF YOU?????" the sceram yelled loudly like the sound of scream yelling. A megatron _WAS i_ n the clearing meniacly he was searching and then he POINTed at the scavengers (and cyclonus who landed nearby sexily) "MY husband is missing and i am very very inconvenienced and i cry every day and people send me _anon hate_ and that's unrelated but sksksksksksk." megaton continues not screamingly.

"yoURE husband is missing too? i cry every day whee have the husbands _gone my tailgate and whirl got lost in thes_ e woods and no i am jus crying." cyclonus replies not crying or sobbing but just kinda standing there weirdly like what the fuck kind of like what kind of weirdo lolz. megatron sighs and sobs a lil. 

"ourhusband have one thing in common adn it's a pattern i fear oh no oh god _of_ god oh primus almighty." megatron speaks in horror.

"what is this pattern bossmanz ?? misfire says, trambling a lil in his boot feet. "they're all tall? no wait maybe short?? no wait maybe- wait no who if your husband megatron u aren't married."

"i am and he will be known if the situati _on be dire a **s fuc** ks_\- wait weren't ther more of **_y'all?_**?" megan says, darkness over his optic eyes

"CRANKCASE??????????????????????????????????????? " krok shrieks like a lil BABYMANZ haha callback joke. he looksa round under the tress and over the bushes and thru the woods and to omega supremes house we go. BUT NO CRANKCASE?? OH FUCK GOD MAN GOD FUCK

"the blue ones... the blue.... MISSINGGGG." MEGATRON YELLS N SOBS he is just so fucking tired and he cries a lot and punches the ground.

anyways remember to liek and subscribezzz apart 9 incoming??????????????????????????????????


	4. reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he is real

FUCK

FUCK THE ANSWER TO THE RIDDLE IS

THE ANSWER TO THE RIFDDLE IS

FUCK

THE FRIENDSHIP WAS THE GLOCK WE FOUND ON THE WHOILE TIME FUCKING HELL SKYWARP WHY ARE YOU HERE?????????

he's eating a sandwich, a fucking sadnwitch, not even like a him sized sandwich like a fucking like human sized like its a pinpoint of a sandwich like what the fuck what the fuck fucking cuck

okay we need to go back to the fUCKing forest please for the love of god pokease go to tarzans FUCKING forest please im begging you im crying im sobbing im on my fucking knees im sobbing again please

MEGANSTRON CRUNCHING THROUGH TTHE TEES JUST FUCKING MUNCH MUCNH MONCHING WITH HIS FUCKING MOUTH YES HES BITING THE TREES HES KILLING THEM HES KILL MAIM ATTACK MURDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DEFORESTATIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DEFORESTATION YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HELL YEAH HELL FUCKING YEAHHDFHSDHFSDHG

okay im normal now

okay megatrwn is balsting his way thru the forest w his arm canon and theyre walking and the scavengers SANS crank whatever is walking behind him awkwardly and clyclonus is like flying abover in circles and hes bored as fuck but like trying to keep pace but GOD TEHYRE JUST SO SLOW

WHEN SUDDENLY

TRAPDOOR MOTHERFUCKERS

'WELCOME TO DRIFTLANDIA MOTHER FUCKERZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"

SAID DRIFT wait fuck capslockkk sorry aaaaaaaa

dwift hop skip hops up to the pile of decepticons (and not) and pokes them w his kanye. "hey are yall winnin son? sonss sonny boysssss"HE cheers and CLAPS AND THEN EVERYBODY CLAPPED HELL YEAH BOI "I hear you are looking for blue ppl but nO i dont have that i have maybe?? but not"

he helps everyone up one by one five minutes each gay ass except cyclonus he dont need no help even tho he has life alert if he falls

they start to walk towards a tunnel in the wall s and they are a group like at the FIELD TRIPZ at skool at the zoo and they are walking and walking and like they round a corner to reveallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

UNTIL NEXT TIM ON FUCK IN NGFALEFNSEDJLFNESGNJRDSHGNLSNHGDS GWHY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> he is real


	5. FUCK

YOU ATED TJAT FUCKING PIECE OF BREAD DIDN'T YOUS I AAA WHY I OUGHTTA I GOD AND FUCKING AND DAMMIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCKKKK


	6. gun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DONT FUCKINGGRGRGRGRG YOURE GOING TO ASK ME THINGGG AND QUESTIONS AND divorce papers AND IM GRGGRGRGRGRGRGRGRGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR GOING TO GROWL AT YOU BITE GRRR BARK BARK HATRED

behind the corner of driftlandia's megaquarium and cat day spa was the mans the myths the LEGENDS

AND LE GASP OH GOD HOLY LORD IN HEAVEN HE GRABS DRIFT IN HIS BIG MEATY CLAW AND DRIFT MAKES A SQUEAKY TOY NOISE AND HIS EYE GO '''''' _ **O.O** _

"OH OF FUCKS SAKE IT'S

AND HE IS GOING TO KILLUS I AM SO AFRAID AND FRIEGHTENED AND FRIAID OH I THINK I AM GOING TO LAY DOWN NOW" said krok who really is a lil baby man like wtf dude i really don't like how this author portrays him i think he mayyyy be a little ooc like yah know what i mean????????

while everyone is doing the maypoel dance around kroks fetal positioned laying spread eagle form

drops drift and his FUCKIN like ensemble of clever little bots with funny killing people ways steps out from behind him like one by one like where are they coming from oh god i think they may be multiplying oh god they just keep waling out from beihinf him the room is filing up this cave cant take anymore bots of GUYS GUYS SINGLE FILE PLEASE GUYS I CANT SORT YOU ALL LIKE TH GUYS GUYSS  
okay so the djd are standing around while drift is squeaky toy noises BUT WAIT WHERE THE FUCK IS WHO SMELT IT DEALT IT MAN???? HELE _X_ ** _MY_ HELEX????????????**

oh i need a moment guys , guys i need a moment please forgive me i ned a MONMENT

  
thesaurus starts sobbing while kaon and vos sit in the corner and laugh quietly huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhhhhuhuhhh it sounds liek that  
"Helex has gone missing and we are so, so heartbroken where in place has he gone i miss him every day." tes i s crying i think?? kinda hard to tell but like man do i feel bad nad awkward and everyone kinda like stands there and stares but doesn't ster like and een drift is like "oh uh im looking away..." and tarn pats thesaurus on the back and coughs.

megatron walks to the front of the recess line and gently ungrabs drift from tarns hand claw finger servo??? pedes and sets him down on the cave floor THUNK  


keeps quiet abt this man he is gRIEVING the loss of smelt it man the WAIT HE'S OOOUGUHGHGHGOUGOHGGH HEESS INDDDIIIGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUU _UUUCKCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK  
_

megatron and cyclonus just start fucking running down the halls of the cave and awuarium and day spa and then spinister is soon behind bc he got lost in the room and then tarn (thanks cOOL TEXT for all of the help but i think i can take it from here) is CLOSING IN because he wants to know what the fuck is going on and like u know when somethingr uns past a cat and they GOTTA chase it ?? i think that's his problem here

they're running and sobbing and sobrunning and there's a SCREAM from down the hall and megaton GOES FASTER BECA _ **USE HE KNOW THAT VOICE the voice of his one true love his baby his cinnimon apple** _

he rounds the corner and standing there iS

haha simp u THOT i was gunna write more here and not leave u on a CLIFFHANGER AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAH

_**HAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAH** _

u right continue on my good sir

"megamind?" he cries sobbingly, relief covering his features. he embraces the small blue man, tiny in comparison to the TONS OF STEEL megatronm was made of, a harsh contrast between them.   
"I knew you would find me megsy! I never doubted you!" megamind fucking SOBS and it's like gross man what the fuck why so much crying GOD emotions are pretty gay ngl......

THEN THEY KISSWEDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Author's Note:**

> knife fight, gotta fight with a knifeee, knife fight, gotta fdight for your lifeee, knife fight, a really really really sharoph knigfe.


End file.
